what not to say to a pregnant woman
Luke was a big baby, both heavy and long, and since I’m only about 5’2″ (on a good day!), my belly was pretty enormous. Which was totally fine with me, in fact I loved having a huge belly. What I didn’t love were all the comments. And even though I’m not quite 18 weeks yet, the comments have already started again. Some comments are totally sweet and fine, but others cross a line.
Below is a list of things not to say to a pregnant woman. (Please note that the comments are a bit sarcastic and meant to be somewhat funny, but at the same time highlight the inappropriateness of some of the remarks and questions that pregnant women get.)
“Are you sure there aren’t two in there?!”
Actually, yes, I am sure, but thank you for your concern. And you’ve just made me feel like I’m the size of a whale.
“Wow, you’re huge!”
What do you mean by this? Just my belly? Me in general? Well thank you, I’ve been eating a ton of carbs in order to grow this human and have some energy left over to chase after my toddler. I’m so glad you noticed I’ve been gaining weight.
“Another baby already?!”
Yes, actually, my husband and I made the very personal family planning decision together and decided that we would like our kids close in age. But, to answer your actual question, yes – this pregnancy was planned.
“You must be hoping for a girl so you’ll have the perfect family!”
What’s a “perfect family” anyway? I think my family is perfect already. And honestly, I don’t have a preference on gender. Even if I did, I am not going to talk to a stranger about it.
“Two little ones! You must be done after this one then!?”
Why do you feel like this any of your business? This is a pretty personal question and it’s not advised to offer your advice on this. But for you’re information, we would actually like to have more than two children.
“Are you planning to have a natural birth or another c-section?”
Seriously?! Unless you’re my doctor or my husband, this is absolutely none of your business.
“You’re going to be breastfeeding, right?”
This is another very personal and intrusive question. Not to mention one that would make many women uncomfortable. Why do you care how I intend to feed my child?
“You can’t eat or drink that!”
Are you a doctor? More specifically, are you my doctor? If the answer to the second question is no, then I don’t want or need your input unless I ask for it.
“You look like you’re about to pop!”
Well, I’m only about 6 months so I hope not! I appreciate you reinforcing the notion of how huge I am, though. (This happened with Luke from about 24 weeks onward.)
Please note that this is not an exhaustive list.